bell hooks (via not-badforagirl)
there is a difference between needing outside validation, and just wanting to share existence with another person. i am exploring this boundary, as i’ve been too far on the self-defining side for far too long, and it led me to some horrible, horrible black dank dead ends.
I finally have a glimmer, for the first time in months, of the way in which anger only hurts myself, and how forgiveness is the birthplace of true strength and self-preservation and wholeness.
I forgive. I love. I let go. I will not forget. I refuse to blame myself. People will find ways to hurt me no matter how scared I am, how much I refuse to expose myself. They will find ways. I have to learn to be okay with this. To know that I can endure the pain.
“Our tickets to the future are blank.”
People who sin say this: That they had to, to survive.
People who sin say this: That it’s too late to stop.
The shadow called sin hounds them steadily without a word.
Remorse and agony repeat, to finally end up at despair.
But sinners don’t know that if they turn around
there is a light, a light which keeps shining on them
ever so warmly.
face crusted with drying tears. an insatiable desire to cut. it’s been almost a year, maybe. i won’t. stupid. lost. lost. lost.
this life is broken. do-over plz k thx.